Matt's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]

  • everything is blue
  • You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise. You’re spilling like an overflowing sink. You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece. Now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink...

    Everything is blue... his pills, his hands, his jeans. Now I’m covered in the colors, pull apart at the seams. It's blue.

    Everything is grey... his hair, his smoke, his dreams. Now he's so devoid of color he don't know what it means. He's blue.
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dropbox [14 Jun 2018|04:53am]

playlist [14 Jun 2018|04:52am]
Skillet - Hero
Halsey - Colors
Bring me the Horizon - Follow You
Adele - Water Under The Bridge
Daughtry - Battleships
NF - Can You Hold Me ft. Britt Nicole
James Arthur - Say you won't let go
Secondhand Serenade - Fall For You
One Ok Rock - Wherever you are
White Tie Affair - Candle
Starset - My Demons
FireFlight - Unbreakable

memories [14 Jun 2018|04:52am]
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Application [14 Jun 2018|04:52am]

DISCORD: Ash#6502
AVAILABILITY: I'm online pretty much every day, usually evenings/late nights


NAME: Yamato "Matt" Ishida
JOURNAL: baessist
PLAYED BY: Hiroki Moriuchi
FANDOM: Digimon

CAN THIS CHARACTER BE CANON PUNCTURED? Yes, he'll think it's cool.

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH THIS CHARACTER IN GAME? I think with the nature of Digimon in general, Yamato will definitely feel not having Gabumon around. I'm hoping to explore that sense of loneliness, while also hopefully cultivating a lot of friendships for him as that's his crest and something that would be deeply ingrained in him, it'll just take him a long time to realize it. He's going to be more friendly than his otherworld counterpart for sure! I'm hoping he can eventually get his digimon as well, and see how that effects his relationships with friends when they find out, too. No doubt juggling a band and college classes will be way more fun when he starts the dreams.


IN GAME HISTORY: Yamato's life has always been one of excitement and heartbreak. He was the sort of baby that wasn't really planned, and borderline undesired. His mother was an actress on daytime television, and while she had a distaste for him even in the womb, she grew to accept and embrace the pregnancy. However, that came to a violent halt when Yamato was actually born. Unfortunately, his mother developed depression during those first few months. It was then really, that Yamato's father had stepped up despite a grueling job of his own as an engineer. Growing up with a string of nannies had been completely normal during his childhood.

Yamato holds to the fact that the first person he ever really loved wasn't his parents, it was his baby brother. Takeru was born only a few years after him, and while at first, Yamato didn't really like the attention his mother gave the baby, he couldn't help but love the boy with all of his heart. He took his role of big brother very seriously, to the point of even hurting other kids if that little blonde head of hair was even threatened. It had gotten him in trouble a few times when someone ended up crying, and his mother was very keen to pull the 'he's your son' with his father, and in a way, it drove a wedge even further between his family.

His mother's luxurious lifestyle never quit, though, and while Yamato hadn't realized it at the time, her increased need to hold onto her youth and fame led to fights between his parents that Yamato had once blamed himself for when his mother's yelling turned on him. In those moments, he took it upon himself to try and help, making sure his little brother would go to their mother, while he would distract their father. It had worked for few years, and some people might have thought that they were working it out as a family, but when Yamato turned seven, his father got offered a job in America and his mother signed a contract for a new year on her show in Japan. The divorce was finalized within a few months.

Moving to America was a culture shock, and yet, not. Yamato was friendly enough, and young enough that most children were more curious than judgemental of him. California had been something of a whole new world to explore, but he still looked forward to summers and holidays when his little brother would come to visit or they'd travel back to Japan. By the time Yamato hit high school, his father had decided America was for him and thus, for Yamato as well. He didn't mind, and there was a sense of security that came with knowing that his father wouldn't be too eager to move again. It was like setting down roots, just really far away from where Yamato had ever expected to be.

So, he started to let himself go, in a sense. He wanted friends, he begged for a guitar, he joined a band. Things felt like they were coming along as he began recording his music and posting it online. They eventually earned attention, and while he knows their first 'album' was horrible, Yamato hadn't given up on music. He adopted the nickname of Matt and changed the band's name as members changed out. They did better, agreed more musically, and when most kids were worrying about what college they were going to, Yamato was working hard on a new album, praying it'd do better and get them some new recognition.

Deciding against college had caused a ripple between him and his father, but the man worked so much that by the time he realized how serious Yamato had been, it was too late. That first year was spent working their asses off, and getting painfully lucky in the form of opening for a labelmate's tour. The band had been thrilled but there was the crushing reality of things when a bandmate decided that touring and the music weren't for them. Chaotic, they had called it, and it brought sting to Yamato's future plans. At any moment, his band could break up again, and he knew he needed a backup plan. When they stopped for a breather, Yamato began looking into colleges and taking the proper entrance exams. It was an annoying process, but eventually he decided on a college in OC that would let him make up work online if he needed to. He's only signed up for the minimum classes, but it wasn't uncommon for a band to take a year to make new music, and that's what they did while Yamato started school.

With sights set on Warped for the summer, Yamato's happy to be looking forward to his time with the band, and spending time focused on them and the music more than college. He doesn't have a clue what's in store.


Yamato knew better than to think they would always be together, Mimi had been the first to go, then more of the younger kids drifted. The very things Yamato expected to always bind them were possibly ripping them apart.

Still, they tried, just like he had tried to be close to Sora. In a way, he felt he owed it to her despite conflicting feelings aside. His confusion over himself always seemed to get in the way of how he viewed the world. He had known it was going to upset Taichi. He and Sora had always been close, Yamato wasn't blind to it, he'd felt something for her, too. Then again, he'd felt something for all the others at some point, it was always an afterthought what that something was. Friendship.

Except for Taichi. No matter what, Taichi always brought out more in him. He was different, in ways that made Yamato want to both hug and punch him. Mostly he wanted to punch him.

He also wasn't completely lost to the idea that Taichi was ignoring them, him. Being in the same grade meant that he did catch Taichi from time to time, but summer had been particularly obvious. Yamato knew that they really only had this year before deciding on college or jobs, and all he knew was that he wanted to stay with his band, but they were annoying in their own ways. They didn't understand the lyrics or music. Everything was one more thing onto the pile of shit Yamato was tired of dealing with.

Knowing he'd see Taichi didn't make it any easier to actually see Taichi, though. Some part of him, maybe a more hopeful side, expected a smile and some stupid excuse like 'I fell asleep', yet the glare just made something inside of Yamato flare up. Any hope of reading ahead before the lesson so they both didn't fail had flown out the window.

He tried to take a deep breath and calm down, but that didn't make his sharp turn in his seat and glare at that wild head of brown hair any less heated.

"What's your problem?" He stood up, stepping around the desks, all but slamming his hand onto the tabletop in front of Taichi. "You've been blowing us off all summer." He opened his mouth, wanting to say more but finding the words didn't come out quite like he wanted. Maybe they just weren't there, because he never knew what to do in any situation that involved too much feeling that couldn't be solved physically. The last thing he needed was a note that he'd been fighting so early in the school year.

Fingers curling into fists, he stood again. "If you want to abandon your friends, at least just tell us instead of being a no show." He didn't want to throw names out there, but he was mad, and he knew Taichi had to still care. "Sora was bummed all evening when you didn't come."

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